Ages 1+: Teach the anatomy using correct terms and names for body parts, not slang or cute names. Empower your young one by giving them the ability to talk about their body. Try to avoid passing on any shame you may feel about body parts - using correct terms and saying how important it is to keep bodies safe is important.
Ages 2+: Teach your child about boundaries and consent. It starts with parents and family practicing consent. Ask your child if they want a hug or a kiss, for example. Help them feel and voice the 'uh-oh' feeling so that they know where their boundaries are. Have them practice talking about and defending their boundaries. Teach them to ask for and insist on consent.
Ages 3+: Have safety conversations about private parts. Help your child to independently care for their private parts, from bathing to toileting. Teach a simple rule, for example, "Only a parent or doctor is allowed to touch your private parts". Plan what to do if the rule is broken.
Ages 5 ideally, or by age 8: Explain sex and conception. Find a children's book you like and read it with your child. Answer all their questions. This is a great time to introduce the terms "sex" and "pornography" and lay down some rules - and what to do when the rules are broken.
Ages 5+: Discuss the differences between media messages and real life (including the differences between porn and real sexual relationships). Kids don't have the experience to know what is real and what is not. You have to tell them.
Ages 9+: Discuss and celebrate puberty, both the physical and emotional changes. Have this discussion BEFORE your child enters puberty. As bodies change and feelings spark, you'll also want to discuss flirting online and sexting.
Ages 11+: Discuss gender identity (what you feel like on the inside) and sexual orientation (who you're attracted to). There are many kinds of people and families, all equally deserving of respect.
Ages 12+: Encourage intimacy over intercourse. Feeling close to your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend is what will make sex pleasurable, not mimicking whatever you see in media (pornography). Slow touching and kissing of the hands, face, and neck and talking about fantasies can be much more intimate than having sex. Emphasize values, not acts.
Age 14+: Teach how to have safe sex conversations. Teens need to be able to discuss sexually transmitted infections, contraception, and how their relationships will change if they have sex, how they will state their boundaries, ask for consent, or confidently and gracefully respond to a 'no'.
Ages 14+: Prevent sexual assault. Explain what sexual assault and sexual harassment are. Educate your teen about how adult sexual predators 'groom' their victims. Teach the early warning signs of date rape. Make sure your teen knows the signs for both and has exit strategies for both.
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